Monday, January 16, 2006

A Creepy Hello from Horseranch #38


Listen up you Sopping Hammerbombs:
I can barely hold back my Spin Toss anymore --- THIS IS exciting!!!!
First off, I am totally RIPPED dudes!!!!! This year I started with a Blizzard Suplex in the kitchen with my neighbour's dog ---- I've completely FLIPPED MY LID!!!!! Check out my 3/4 Nelson Neckbreaker and Russian Airplane Ankle Lock!!!! Ouch, huh? How's that, SUCKAS?
Seriously though, New Year's Resolution? I'm getting PUMPED!!! No more shit-wiping bear hugs, brothass!!!! I even woke up this morning choking in my own Belly2Back Double Headscissor Hammerlock!!! I do this shit in my sleep!
Howabout this: Last week, go to check out King fucking Kong and behind me some dude munchin' popcorn and making stupid streching noises when the monkey's going berserk --- I FLIP!!!!! I turn around and grab his eyelids in a Mexican Arm Drag, pull him up over the seats and give him a taste of my Top Rope Human Neck Breaker while he's choking on a bunch of kernels from his FamilyBucket!! Haha!! If that wasn't enough, I finished him off with a Crossface Doomsday Device just when King Kong dives off the building to kill the girl!!! Happy New Year, SUCKA!!!!!
I'm doing pushups right now writing this, dudes!! You'd better get ready for my Oklahoma Throat Remover after I finish up!!!! I'm getting PUMPED!!!!

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