Ahoy, ship me whiskers ye shivery mudskippers!

Crane yer peepers o'er here, saltyipped barnacle weeds! I'm erking for a tale to tattle.

Me mornin yank was a manhandlers reel, it was! I've got thee case of oyster stone plooped from me urethren bilge rat, laddies. I cain't ascertain wherebouts from which me itchins are creepin, but methinks it twas a rare invitation by a gargling beauty to dip inside her urchins. Yawp, alas she weren't 100 percent chum free...

Gargh! Me loins were screechin with a bellyflop anchoring and ye olde gullflap was shiny slick with 'er dogfish flavour!

Last grope me pulled was a larva toot from the swashbucked perineum, haha... Insides those hormone walls there lurks a bilge-sucking lugnut me dearies! If ye can floss the fat out, we'll splice the mainbrace and I can lend a man to yer poop deck, ladies!