Crawlspaces Anonymouse

O! Hotpepper and Damejan, howabout stacking your scrampon lids yea-high? Feel good? OK. I know I get heaps of fan mail, but here's a mightily grandanddied one:


Dear Crawlspaces Anonymouse,
My girlfriend last month came down with the case of disappearing act. The following day I woke up with a tongue firmly glued in my mouth. I locked myself in the trunk with proteins and have lasted 29 days with the help of the teeming hordes of microbes in my saliva.

It's now the trouble starts brewing when mouths dry out. I will stage a coup.

So far, with my coup, 159 healthy humans have refrained from brushing their teeth for four weeks. Tongues are sore and fissured, we are down to our last crackers , and our children are breeding grounds for yeast. I am able to write my last words on the parchment along the periphery of the skull of my drying neighbour. In a spit-depleted world, speaking and swallowing are challenges, eating a cracker is the height of recklessness and you wake up with a tongue glued to your mouth.

DAY 33:We are holed up with a 51-y-old woman who is now undergoing whole-body scanning, we have revealed intense cavities in the head. The patient disclosed that she had not washed her hair because she had obtained a new hairstyle between the treatment and the scan. This represents radioactive physiologic accumulation at the patient’s scalp, which reveals microbes.

DAY 43: I am dizzy from eatintg parchment. I drink the medecines and ink.

DAY 64: This is my last entry --- the coup was a failure and 146 are dead from physiologic accumulation in the pancreas. The mice are singing;the microphone is covererd in feces.

Yours truly,
Dispirited in Denver