Terrible Void Ottoko wa Ya! Kimochee warui!

Dear Flabby,

I cannot TELL you how often I have thought of the 'feeling virus' being embedded into both Japanese and Korean couture. The yellow flies buzz round my horrible void male as he whistles near
the
window. The rain is humming and singing to me about Barthday
paerty!
Was it all it was "cracked" uip "to be"? The labels on all things
have to
go. Went to an old peoples party and sat in the corner, watching
the books
on the shelves.

And to make things much worse, last week, My "Horrible Voido ottoko"
had his
child in the elevator during the blackout! It was wonderful!
Sit5ting indian style, like a fuckin swami, the kid rolled up his
cuffs,
right up to the crotch, and a little weak puff of flesh scurried
out....making its way under the elevator carpet and and and
then....kept
going under our feet! It was making this "jerbal jerbal jerbal," sound as
it danced. Throwing us right up into the air. It was like a bouncy
blowup
room at a carnival, except for me and my "Terrible Voido Ottoko|"
were
laughing so hard! Not because of the bouncing but because "Isn't it
funny,"
he gurgled between jiggly laughter," how something like this could
happen to
even moi!"


If that were where the story ended it would simply be funny! But
nooo! The
lights went out all over town, I had one of these "Edible Old Males"
turn on
me when we climbed down the wire to the building's lobby, where I
had eaten
an Anjelica Huston at the aeropuerto a few days earlier! (BUT THATS
ANOTHER
STORY) On the way to Puerta Vallarta it seems hustling doublers
presed too
hard on the volume UP(!) for the movie, and all the power went out
from
Ottowa to Queberque proper!

And then , while shaving my testicles (never try it!), I fought off
two of
my own "Boorish void males" in a spanish restaurant bathroom. The
tongue on
my right shoe got caught in the cuff of my pants and all of my
"celebrity
void ottokos" got caught in my pantlegs, ballooning my waist size to
a 44
men.


"Che pasa?" the proprieter asked. And this is the situation I'm in
now. Any ideas"? What should I tell him?