Hey everybody, what about some inconsistent slices of sirloin?!???

Alright, my forever-laboured communication has been unforgivably spotty, but I'll have to blame it on the enormous toomb placed in the gaping maw that was my face last week.
Finally, after reading and re-reading your correspondence, I have decided that this isn't true comradership at all. Your antiparticipation word gams are no better than overspead translation machines on optimal obscure setting. By theway I went on a drinking binge with your lifeless cardboard cutouts last Tuesday. I got drunken caresses from all of you and then burned your throbbing effigies to a crisp.
Nothing burns like life, my frienmds, and when life has finally been burned away, and the barren pedestrian strains of your bleak future are revealed for what they are, and you'll remove your face and place a tomb in the maw too.
Can you sing with me?

'O, the broken empty sighs! Entomb my face with the maw!'

I've seen a mask is born colorblind. I fell off the gurney. The plumpest are the rarest. Sign my booby, my friends, sign me and burn me...

O, and write back soon!